A few 1/1/12 reflections as I get ready for church (a few weeks late)
By BlackCalvinist | January 22, 2012
For the past few weeks, I’ve been jokingly telling friends (and even my wife) – I’m ‘fat, happy and content’. There’s probably 90% truth to that statement. I do need to lose weight (takes discipline). I am very happy right now (even with the general stresses of life and work, all things are going well). Most of all, I am content (wife and I just purchased a house, so we’re finally apartment-free and we’re in a good area with low crime….and lots of deer….although we spent most of the month of December moving….while still working, doing concerts, etc…). I generally have everything I need at the moment.
Food, clothing, shelter, income, possessions, companionship, fellowship at a good church, sound teaching….
1 Timothy 6:6-8 is a good place to find yourself.
But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
Could some things be ‘better’ ? Sure. I’d love to have a more active social life with my friends, but the problem (part of it) is that I live too far away from most of them and FB is a poor substitute (indeed NO substitute) for keeping up in person. Could my students act better and be more focused ? Absolutely. But it’s the nature of teaching middle school. The challenge every year is to reproduce and exceed the excellence from the year before. I think I’m well on my way to that point at the moment.
All of these things come with new challenges and levels of difficulty that I may not necessarily be equipped to properly handle at the moment. And that’s why I’m reflecting back to this passage again and again and considering my life as it stands at the moment. I really do have it good. More importantly, God in His providence, has seen fit to place me in the point in life where I am right now because in His all-wise counsel, this is the absolute best for me right now (Romans 8:28).
That last point right there helps me to view life through the wisdom of God in how He deems to execute the life-plans He has for each of His elect, specifically at the moment, for me and my wife. That, my friends, helps me to learn to trust Him more (especially when He gives me ‘glimpses’ of what I could’ve gotten myself into if I’d married someone else, taken another job, etc….).
Topics: life, Personal, theology | No Comments »
A Few Reflections on Robert Champion’s Death, Hazing and HBCU Bands
By BlackCalvinist | December 26, 2011
Those who know me know that my life has several different streams to it – I’m a band director, choir director, DJ, emcee, graffiti artist, been a dancer, been in marching band, member of a black greek fraternity, Christian apologist, small-time conference speaker and a few more things. The people I get exposed to allow me an opportunity to ‘examine life’ in light of other things. This is why I’m perfectly at home discussing reformed theology with a bunch of people who don’t look like me, don’t have my cultural background and I’m equally at home discussing most aspects of 70′s-90′s black urban culture including the origins of hip hop.
So this is one of those ‘stream crossing’ moments.
Robert Champion, freshmen drum major at Florida A&M University, passed away over a month ago immediately after the Florida Classic. That evening, twitter and everyone’s FB page was alight with speculation (later confirmed almost to the letter) that hazing was the cause of his death. The band director, longtime (since 1973) faculty member Dr. Julian White, has been served a termination letter for “gross misconduct and/or incompetence in handling confirmed reports of hazing” in the music department and specifically in the FAMU Marching “100″ (the name of the band). Dr. White’s lawyer has shot back with 150+ pages of documentation showing that White wasn’t the one dropping the ball on handling hazing allegations – it was the university. He also demanded that the letter be rescinded.
Meanwhile, it seems like everyone put their beef aside for a day to lay Robert Champion to rest.
To properly frame this, a little education may be in order for those whose conception of band members is ‘band geek’ or some random throwaway line from American Pie.
At most historically black colleges and universities like FAMU, the band is revered either as much as or more than the football team, basketball team or any of the athletics. Unlike most white colleges and universities, HBCU marching bands are, to a point, a fraternity/sorority. People come to football games at most HBCU’s just as much for the bands as for the football teams – in some cases, more. There is an appreciation among groups, as we all ultimately see ourselves as equals and family based on these shared experiences, no matter which program we marched for.
The work to be a part of the group itself is equal to or greater than any athletic team, physically and mentally demanding and would very easily ‘break’ most of the people who stand back and make jokes based on their limited experience. Making ‘the group’ and doing well at it is a badge of honor that many (including myself) carry and wear proudly. Even at schools with smaller programs (like my alma mater, Bowie State University) during band camp, members train physically at 5-5:30 – 8 before going to breakfast, spend 9 am – noon on the field learning drills and precisions maneuvers to create the great formations you see on the field, eat lunch around noon, hit afternoon rehearsal from 1-5, dinner at 5:30 and then evening rehearsals which incorporate music, field routines, the drill, dance routines and much more until 10-11pm then head to sleep and do it again. So think a bit beyond ‘Drumline’ and ‘American Pie’.
Third, bands like FAMU, SU, GSU and some others travel far and wide around the world. There’s a reason Prince (SuperBowl XLI), Barack Obama (2008), Bill Clinton (1994), and the city of Paris (1989) chose the ’100′ to come and perform as a part of their festivities or as the main entertainment. Southern University was chosen during the mid 90′s to represent the US in China. Tennessee State and Texas Southern have travelled to Japan on good will trips (maybe I shouldn’t mention TxSU….old joke). TnSU has also travelled and performed in Switzerland. Morgan State and Bethune-Cookman in the Bahamas. Bowie State University in Canada at halftime for some CFL games. Coming up in just a little under two months is the Honda Battle of the Bands, which fills up most of the GA Dome (which seats a bit over 71,000), draws folk from all over to watch 10 HBCU bands perform…and this is the 10th year of the event.
So these bands are, for the most part, an institution at these schools just as much as any athletic program would be at your average Ivy League school, Big Ten school, etc…
With that, comes long lines of tradition – sometimes spanning over decades. Incorporated in some of that tradition may be hazing ranging from simple things like instrument cleaning (which in my opinion isn’t hazing…take pride in your section and your group), silly skits for entertainment for older members of the group to verbal abuse to physical abuse (which I definitely disagree with). “We did it…it’s part of the identity of who we are.”
Having pledged a fraternity, I understand exactly how things have developed up to this point. Some of the things we see from the program outwardly (and I’m referring specifically here to some of the visual things we see like people moving in sync almost perfectly, doing certain moves certain ways, etc….) may have been ‘taught’ via hazing.
“This is the way we’ve always done it. When we’re done, you’ll understand why.”
There is the argument that having gone through a ‘shared experience’ (it happened to me, so I understand it, you will too afterward, you’re being brought into a ‘family’), there will be built a feeling of family and the establishment of a line of tradition exclusive to only a few people and YOU will be part of that line of tradition. This shouldn’t be a hard point to understand, as we see people use this same line of logic with why they have their kids play football (because they played football and credit it with giving them a different perspective on life, helping them to become a better person, etc….).
Human depravity takes a good thing and twists it. Always. There are good ‘hard work’ traditions that should remain in place and be ‘standard’ everywhere. There are life-lessons to be learned in good sports experiences, good music programs, clubs and other organizations as a whole. The military, as a whole, has codified most of this as basic discipline (attention to details of uniform, learning facial commands, learning to do things together in unison and as a team, physical training to help prepare the body and mind for the tasks of a military life, etc….). Even in the early days of fraternity and sorority rituals, pledging activities (many of which are now defined as hazing) all had a purpose which related to the individual’s life experience and ultimately proved to be something an individual could look back on and use as ‘fuel for life’. I speak for myself here, reflecting back on many activities (even recently) in which I had to put on a ‘pledge mentality’ and trudge through whatever it was I needed to get done and get it done.
So it’s with great sadness that I see something as useful as a ‘process’ or the concept of a ‘process’ being reduced to a simple tradition of brutality…and all for the purpose of being a member of a certain bus (bus C). Since the start of this article, Robert Champion’s death has been ruled a homicide and 30+ individuals have been interviewed….charges coming. Dr. White has his job back, albeit he is still on administrative leave without pay.
Dekalb County, where Champion as a drum major at Southwest Dekalb High School, has suspended all marching band related activities at all schools - primarily due to many ties with FAMU and allegations of hazing by parents regarding the student band culture in the district.
A few of us over at The 5th Quarter began some conversations regarding alternate non-hazing ways of having people earn their way/work their way into HBCU bands, learn the traditions and grow an appreciation for the organization. I can definitely think of ways to do this, but appreciation is something that comes with time and wisdom, not simply via a hard entrance process. I know, for example, too many of my frat brothers who ‘pledged hard’ and have gone inactive…but they pledged hard! (eyes rolling). I also know some of my frat brothers who did not engage in a pledge process, but have grown to love the frat just as much as those who came into the organization via a process.
I can’t justify hazing in light of Matthew 5. Apprenticing new members of an organization so that they learn the ins and outs of the organization is a different story. And even in that process, the dignity of the human being, made in the image of God, must be preserved. The individual must be made to work (for human beings were made to work), but must not be made to feel less than human.
A sad ending (forthcoming with charges) to a sad story. One man’s life lost, several other lives about to be ruined, a legacy all but destroyed (I’m not the only person who sees a temporary – for YEARS – disbanding of the 100 coming….), dreams shattered, opportunities evaporated, families brought to mourning over something senseless and downright silly in the grand scheme of things.
Topics: in the headlines | No Comments »
Court rules against Jericho City of SHAME pastor……
By BlackCalvinist | November 3, 2011
City of Shame because ANY church set up as a business is doomed to fail. Apparently, 1 Corinthians 6:1-8 is not in their bibles.
Background:
And the ruling handed down a day or two ago by a judge:
Several observations about this mess in:
1. Women pastor (his momma). 1 Tim. 2:11-14, 3 and Titus 1 violation.
2. No one ‘inherits’ a ministry. 1 Tim. 3, Titus 1 set out the qualifications for elder.
3. There is no ‘board of directors’ in scripture. In scripture, churches are run by the elders (pastors/bishops). Not a ‘singular’ pastor with some assistant pastors. Not the deacons (the lower cannot rule over the upper).
4. Fighting in church over the collection plate during a service.
May God shut down all of these 1 Tim. 4:3 houses of entertainment masquerading as churches.
Topics: heresy and screwy teaching...., in the headlines | No Comments »
Thoughts on Kim Kardashian, gay marriage and….marriage
By BlackCalvinist | November 1, 2011
There’s been jokes about the brevity of Hollywood marriages for years now. Britney Spears and her 55-hour marriage to Jason Alexander a few years ago still strikes me as incredulous and nothing more than a publicity stunt. It got press, but not much, since it seemed to happen on a whim over the course of a weekend spent partying in Vegas. But it, along with the many other relatively short ‘star’ marriages (usually 2-4 years at most) that continue to happen (and dissolve) among stardom go to underscore a lack of understanding about the seriousness of marriage.
Kim Kardashian’s 72 day marriage to NBA star Kris Humphries has been latched onto by homosexual activists and pro-gay marriage folks as proof that the problem (as purported by conservative politicians and talkshow hosts) is not ‘gay marriage’ eroding the sanctity of marriage.
In part, they are correct.
Gay marriage and the desire of homosexuals to ‘marry’, no-fault divorce, Jada and Will’s open marriage – all of these things aresymptoms of a de-valued view of marriage. George Takei and Perez Hilton have both commented on their twitter feeds that ‘straight’ people are ruining the institution of marriage just fine without homosexual folks’ help.
Both men have a point – but it’s only a small point. They cannot rightly use Kim’s, Britney’s or any other short-term marriage as THE ‘examples’ of straight marriage that are ruining the sanctity of marriage. To put it in perspective, one cannot look at Britney Norwood and any other two random black people who commit heinous acts of murder and conclude that they are ‘all’ making it bad for black people as a whole. Just as Norwood’s actions represent her and not all black people, likewise, Kardashian’s 72-day wedding (with a huge payout for the rights to broadcast the wedding….seems like she just made 18 million dollars easy) doesn’t represent ‘straights’ or ‘heteros’ (as I’ve heard one gay person call us).
Where’d the low view of marriage come from ?
While it’s been the purview of the culture to wax and wane on the sanctity of marriage, it is the responsibility of the church to always uphold it. Ephesians 5:22-33 tells us that marriage itself is a ‘great mystery’ and that this great mystery refers to Christ and His church. Think of it. Marriage is supposed to be an earthly ‘picture’ of Christ’s relationship to His church.
Marriage was the first societal institution created by God – even before the fall (Genesis 2:25-26). So, political rhetoric aside, it really is one of the bedrocks and basic institutions of society itself, regardless of what form of government you believe is better (or what form of government you live in).
What happens when the church forgets this fact ? We get adultery allowed and almost encouraged in churches. When the church gives a wink and a nod to a pastor and merely ‘sits him down’ for a bit, but then ‘restores him’ to his previous office (even though 1 Tim. 3 and Titus 1 CLEARLY state that he must be above reproach – see my comments here), the church’s stance on marriage is taken to be a joke at best and the ‘rantings of clearly repressed individuals who are probably gay themselves’ at worst. Eddie Long comes to mind immediately.
When we add to it cover-ups by other believers or the simple ‘excusing’ of sin under the guise of ‘grace’ (cheap grace at that) without biblical repentance (and where necessary biblical church discipline which may include excommunication for unrepentant sin), and the church indeed becomes no better than the world.
Notice – I’m not separating marriage and sex in this. God created them to be together, just like one does not get a first down by running off the football field and putting the ball on a parking lot line. We may expect the world to divorce the two – which Paul warned against repeatedly in 1 Cor. 5, 1 Thess. 4:3-8 and many other passages. But scripture never does and believers should renew their thinking to match scripture. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us that God doesn’t consider sex to be a bad thing – it’s undefiled in marriage. Key words: in marriage. And God defines what marriage is in Genesis 2. God wrote an entire book on the joy of marriage and sex with Song of Solomon. God gave section after section of scripture to instruct couples how to deal with each other in marriage and what marriage itself entails (1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, etc….) and how and why to avoid temptation toward unfaithfulness (Proverbs 5-7).
When the church abandons these things as foundation and begins to imitate the culture, homosexual folks coming up and trying tocall something that isn’t marriage ‘marriage’, folks trying to call open adultery a form of ‘marriage’ and so on really become commonplace. And when the church knows these things, but does not support and proclaim them openly, the same thing happens.
Thankfully, there are men like Voddie Baucham, Bob Lepine, Al Mohler, Mark Dever, Gary Thomas, organizations like Family Life Today and others that seek to purposely proclaim and present a biblically accurate view of marriage, even in the face of society seeking to do the opposite. As these men continue to step forth and stand in the gap, may those of us taught by them also take up the charge – not to proclaim what we are against as political pundits often do, but to wisely present a biblical case for what marriage really is and moreso – present the person asking with a view toward their need for a Savior – whether gay or straight (remember: 1 Cor. 6:9-10 treats heterosexual sex outside of marriage the EXACT same as homosexuality).
Topics: contending for the faith, from the pen and mind, heresy and screwy teaching...., in the headlines, Theological | 3 Comments »
Brain Full, Watch Empty
By BlackCalvinist | October 27, 2011
The commodity of time is always in short supply and even moreso this year. I’m sitting in Panera 3 days before my birthday with a clipboard full of papers to grade, concern regarding a move to a new home with my wife, a brain full of things to write on (like finishing up the gazillion series of posts I’ve done part I’s to and maybe a part 2, but never completed….) and the need to get focused and accomplish all of my present goals. I’d love to update LDM’s playlist (what….two years now ?), do some more ‘marketing’ for the board, but alas these things all escape my attention.
Fourth Friday Fundamentals is tomorrow and the topic is suffering. Dealing with some of the things I’ve had to this year (just an enormous load of work!), I feel somehow qualified.
I really wanted to blog about the whole TD Jakes-modalism-mess that the Elephant Room Conference has stirred up (some of it good – got a lot of people studying up on the Trinity again…..). I’ve had some fruitful discussions on HCR regarding the topic (and the Trinity in general as an essential). The cool thing is that this plays right into part II of a post I’m long overdue to put on here (regarding the Trinity and salvation).
Anyway, a few wishes, hopes and dreams….for now. Maybe after my wife and I move and get settled, and the workload levels off (I’m teaching both band and choir this year….and will probably be doing so for the foreseeable future), I can start doing some things.
And yes, I’m still writing…..and producing. Maybe in 2012.
Topics: life | 2 Comments »
While We’re Waiting: Thoughts on the SGM Controversy (weeks later)
By BlackCalvinist | August 4, 2011
Ah. Yes. This.
Those of you who’ve followed here for a long time know that a few years back, one of my exes was an SGM (Sovereign Grace Ministries) church member (she left there while we were dating). There were stories she used to tell me about spiritually and emotionally hurt people (herself included) that resulted from not going along with whatever ‘plan’ or program was being promoted at her church.
In addition, my own bits and pieces of independent research (including talking to then-current members and a few former members) turned up a lot of ‘things that didn’t add up’ (i.e. no mention of Larry Tomczak’s name as helping to start SGM in their official history – not even in the 30 year anniversary DVD with a skit of how their church and ministry started), even though it appears in scholarly works like The New International Dictionary of Pentecostal and Charismatic Movements.
As an outsider, I can’t say that I’ve *always* had red flags about SGM. I haven’t. They’ve been on my recommended list of churches for years now (even on the main portion of this site) because the good there outweighs what I thought were simply a few negative criticisms (after all….no one’s perfect and spiritual hurt occurs even in the most sound of churches). I’ve heard stories of entire care groups taking off from work to help an individual move, come alongside someone who is grieving and even help with cooking, housekeeping and other things as an outworking of what the ‘oneanother’ passages in scripture point to. So there are some very good things about SGM. God is at work in that denomination (yes, I know they don’t call themselves a denomination….but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck….name it Donald or Daffy and move on with life).
I only found SGM Refuge and SGM Survivors on accident about 2-3 years ago….visited a few times, read a few dozen posts and a few hundred comments (for perspective) and then got tied up in other things. So they weren’t an ‘influence’ so to speak, in me formulating my opinion of SGM. My general opinion was that they’re a good church movement, their teachings are relatively solid (only relatively…they are baptists… 
) and as the leadership in the movement grows more reformed in their thinking, the movement itself will grow more reformed. I do think that theologically, they still had (and this was my 2008 opinion of them) some growing to do in a few areas, but nothing to pull people away from.
I also noticed (and this is me analyzing church culture) that it seemed like all of their churches are clones of the mother church (Covenant Life). There seemed to be a certain personality type that ends up at CovLife (I didn’t notice a real ‘diversity’ of personality types like I would at other churches I’ve visited and I’ve visited repeatedly at different points between 03 and 06 with sporadic visits between then and 08). I don’t mean that in a negative way….it’s just an observation I noticed.
Anyway, we fast forward to the present. I may have read about 70-100 pages of the first documents that belonged to Brent D. The rest of the smaller documents (the 26 and 30 page docs), I read in full, since they tended to summarize the earlier documents.
I’m not too surprised. Absolute power corrupts absolutely unless your name is Jesus and you’re fully God and fully man. This isn’t a problem unique to SGM. Stuff like this happens in other denominations as well, albeit on a smaller scale in most cases. There’s also a certain tendency toward shepherding in some pentecostal movements that SGM’s leadership may have held onto all this time – either knowingly or unknowingly.
I’m also not surprised that a number of Christian men whom I’ve met, talked to and respect very much have jumped to his defense. They are his friends and friends do that for each other. I personally think it might be smarter of them to belay their public defense of him (notice – I didn’t say their support….just public defense). The reason I say that is that watching the entire thing unfold on the web as it has (not discussing whether or not it should be up there or not now….it’s there… you can’t unpop a balloon), if the independent panel evaluating Brent’s accusations does come to the conclusion that CJ is at fault, everyone who defended him (and trashed Brent at the same time…see below….) will necessarily be tainted.
That also includes the independent three-man panel (who tried to appear impartial on the issue, but actually have lots of ‘links’ to SGM and CJ in particular) who just declared CJ fit for ministry.
I say that as a caution because of the multiple discrepancies visible in the handling of the situation to date:
- CJ acknowledges some things as sin and sees deficiencies in his leadership style as well as the style of SGM as a whole.
- Josh says SGM is being publicly spanked. Rest of the leadership disagrees, Josh decides to leave the leadership board.
- Others jump to CJ’s defense as if ALL the charges are completely false (in contradiction to CJ’s own released statement). In addition, they (along with SGM leadership) say whatever is necessary to discredit blogs like SGM Survivors and SGM Refuge…along with all of Brent’s documents.
- Josh, on the other hand, at a family meeting (as well as in the Sunday morning sermon), pretty much encouraged people to go read the documents for themselves, read the blogs and acknowledged that there are some ‘true truths’ in the documents – enough to be concerned about and address as they have been doing.
- Josh recently (this past Sunday I believe), backtracks on his previous statement (it appears..at least according to reports. I’m listening to the sermon now….) and regrets telling people to read the blogs and documents.
I’ve seen plenty of CJ and SGM defenders pop up as well as CJ and SGM bashers pop up. Some people are straight speaking out of the pain that they experienced as SGM church members and now this is their time to ‘get even’. A few out of genuine concern for the movement and the people involved in all of the situations. Some speak as though CJ can and has never did any wrong and SGM is the ‘most perfect church on the face of the planet’. A few have just shaken their heads in disbelief and said ‘move along…nothing to see here’. To also be honest, some are popping up simply because they hate reformed theology (which is what I caught a few whiffs of when reading Refuge and Survivors for the first time years ago) and this gives them a chance to ‘blame Calvinism’.
There’s been lots of ‘honest and open dialogue’ now in SGM. I keep reading from current members how their pastors are now discussing issues, failings and shortcomings, seeking out reconciliation with former and current members and much more. SGM has even (and this is a good thing) allowed negative comments to stay up on their blogposts, with their main media guy (big ups to Andrew for doing such an awesome and gracious job) answering comments as they come in.
Maybe along the path of reforming SGM from a charismatic shepherding-movement/Jesus-people-movement spin-off to a pentecostal/charismatic church with reformational tendencies to a more solid biblical movement, some changes to the leadership structure must happen. God is sanctifying his church. There are a lot of good people in SGM and a lot of good things there. But apparently, there’s also some things that need to change….otherwise, you wouldn’t have Survivors and Refuge and the hundreds of people who read and/or post there.
I don’t have a horse in this race. I’m just the random presbyterian guy who has interacted favorably with a few SGM folks, know a few of them and see many “evidences of grace” in the lives of the folks I’ve dealt with (including a few of the leaders that I’ve had passing and/or extended convos with). The last person who I was ‘starstruck’ with was John MacArthur, Jr. at T4G 2006 when I got a chance to shake his hand and tell him ‘thanks’ for The Gospel According to Jesus. All men are sinners – we are saved by grace and without grace, would be nothing more than sinners. Learning that lesson has reminded me not to put people I admire on a pedestal.
Reflecting on SGM’s spiritual trajectory and looking at my own spiritual history down to this point, I see quite a few parallels. Those who know me from my interactions with folks on HCR over the years (and other places) know that I can be (and have been) a really harsh dude at times to those I’ve disagreed with. Over the years, as the doctrines of grace sunk in deeper beyond the surface, I’ve learned to be more gracious to those I disagree with (don’t get it twisted. I will still call something moronic, stupid and idiotic if it is…and if it’s heresy, I have no beef with calling it lies from the pit of hell). My theology got solid first and it gave me quite a ‘zeal’, so to speak….a zeal that I’ve grown to learn how to temper (not eliminate or ignore) with mercy, forgiveness, patience and kindness.
So maybe SGM’s going through some of those same growing pains, but as an entire movement and not just individuals (even though CJ is a main focus, since he leads SGM).
I don’t think it’s wise to treat it like a free-for-all-bash-all-things-
The blogsphere has a tendency to polarize folks on issues like this – thus, I’ve waited until weeks later to post and tried to be as objective on the topic as possible before releasing my thoughts to the general public. My suggestion is to pray for all involved as more things become public, and weigh them with biblical wisdom before simply ‘choosing a side’. Pray for the men leading the movement and that they would not succumb to cronyism (CJ mentored most of the board members who are now responsible for evaluating him for ministry), favoritism and the ever so tempting tendency to ‘spin’ truth, spin presentations and only appear to be doing something without actually doing anything. Pray for CJ. It’s real easy to resort to defending yourself, ignoring comments of critics in place of your own self-evaluation which seems ‘good’ to you (trust me…been there…done that).
Pray for those hurt by SGM’s practices who’ve left the movement (and even those who have left the visible church altogether). Pray for those SGM pastors left in the movement to exercise wisdom, patience and to discharge their office in a manner pleasing to the Lord.
Pray for those still in SGM’s churches. Pray that their faith be not shaken, but placed rightly in the Savior first and foremost and not in men.
That’s all for now. Got a few articles to write for the main site.
-KG
Topics: heresy and screwy teaching...., in the headlines, Theological | No Comments »
New Series on Reformed Theology…..
By BlackCalvinist | July 19, 2011
Posting up a new series on reformed theology on the main site.
http://theologicallycorrect.com/?p=229
Topics: blogwatching!, theology | No Comments »
Two Years of Marriage: Reflections
By BlackCalvinist | July 11, 2011
I’ve been incredibly blessed to have been married for two years to a wonderful, understanding, cute 
, loving, godly woman. Although both of us have a boatload of things to get done over the next few weeks, the most either of us is doing today are things that do not require labor….and in another hour and some change, we’ll be doing nothing other than relaxing.
Over on LDM, one person asked me about what things my wife and I got out of our two years of attending the Weekend to Remember conferences put on by Family Life Today. One of the best things has been to serve my wife by being patient, quick to forgive and understanding. All of these things involve a fundamental biblical truth – putting others before ourselves. In marriage, this is probably the #1 way to keep a marriage together. If you’re thinking about your mate first, you won’t be pressed about what “I” want to do all the time…..from how to spend money to where to spend vacation to even what to wear.
Men, we have a heavier burden according to scripture. Scripture primarily meets us at the area we have the most problems with – listening and understanding. 1 Peter’s command for husbands to dwell with their wives ‘according to knowledge’ or ‘with understanding’ or ‘in an understanding way’ cuts at our tendency to want to ‘fix’ everything and reduce everything down to a simple formula. Some women like routine – some don’t. Takes work to get to know her individually and adjust yourself accordingly. Remember – we are servant-leaders.
There is no command in scripture for wives to dwell with their husbands according to knowledge. Women can figure out most of our basic desires pretty quick. Those of you married – haven’t you noticed how your wife is able to pre-think some things that you might forget, have that stuff ready and all set up for you just when YOU are starting to realize “Oh no! I forgot to take care of item X or item Y” ?
Ladies, have you noticed that when you do stuff like that, your husband’s eyes light up and he just begins to gush on how awesomely terrific you are ? There is a command for women to respect their husbands. When you do stuff like this, husbands think “wow. she respects me and appreciates me enough to make up for the areas I fall behind in. I’d stop a bus for this woman.”
There’s a bunch of scientific data out on how women are wired for this level of attention to detail already , but science is simply finding out what the Bible has already taught on the issue.
So….
Another great thing I took away from these sessions is the need for consistent, regular time in the scriptures together. I admit freely – I’ve been lousy at this as of late. But I’m going to get ‘us’ back into it soon. Remember Ephesians 5 – the husband who loves his wife washes her and cleanses her with the Word. Men reading this – your leading of your wife in and through scripture is part of the means of her sanctification (as well as yours). And you’ll also both find yourselves growing together more as you spend time in the Word together.
Be ready to forgive and not make every offense a big deal. Be ready to apologize. Ephesians 4:32 is big here. Remember patience – the same patience you want folks to use when dealing with you and your shortcomings, failings, etc…. extend that to your mate. The doctrine of total depravity reminds us that all humans are fallen beings, all corrupted by sin and even when we come to Christ in faith, we are still dealing with the lingering effects of the flesh for the remainder of our lives. The same grace and mercy that Christ showed us, let us be quick to show it to our mate.
All this in two years. May the Lord give my wife and I 80-90 more (of course, we’ll be old as dirt by then…if not dirt).
I’m out for now. Off to spend the rest of the day with my wife.
Topics: life, Personal, theology | 1 Comment »
It’s been a while…..
By BlackCalvinist | July 7, 2011
Another ‘I’m still alive and planning to start writing again’ post. Things have been busy. But before the end o’ the summer, all of these ‘outstanding things’ on my checklist will be addressed – including site updates, new articles, editing video and so on. A lot of things are afoot (mostly good things, but all time-consuming things)…..keep me and my wife in prayer.
Topics: life | No Comments »
May 22nd Message. For those deceived by Harold Camping….
By BlackCalvinist | May 20, 2011
Part 1. Part 2 is linked at the end of this video.
Topics: heresy and screwy teaching...., theology | No Comments »
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